Below The Line
by LoveWithoutLimits
Summary: It felt wrong, more than wrong, it felt unnatural." Something broke on that moment on the Bridge, with Spocks hand clasped tightly around Jims neck, but can it be fixed? SpockKirk. Slash.
1. Below The Line

**Disclaimer : I own nothing, all rights reserved to movie makers, actors, creators, directors etc etc**

**Warnings : Written as Pre-Slash but you can look at it as a friendship fic and it will still work. SPOILERS for the film. **

**AN : OMG! The film was beyond amazing, i wanna go and see it again so badly! It was epic, i seriously suggest going and seeing it, even if you didn't like the original or any of the tv series, the film is a must just for the action, the story, the guys! lol**

**AN2 : Anyway, first attempt at this, i've nevr written a Star Trek before, never thought i would but here it is. I don't think i got the characterisation quite right but i will work on perfecting that in the future, i've already got another fic idea in my head :)**

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Below The Line

He didn't relish in the idea of having to intentionally cause someone pain, least of all over something as shattering as the death of a loved one, of family. The fact that he was doing in under the advice of Spock's future counterpart made the whole situation that much more unimaginable. He had assured Jim that is was a nessrcary action to take, that in the long run it would be of benefit and somehow, Kirk couldn't find it in himself to doubt the man. Still, Jim's inside's twisted painfully as he was dragged onto the Brigue after successfully managing to get his way back into the ship. His heart pounded and even through his outwardly calm and cocky exterior, his hands gave a barely noticeable shake.

When Spock walked up to him it was almost his undoing. He hesitated on the inside, a sick feeling rising in him as the first remark was formulated in his mind. He knew as words spilled out of his mouth that he was hitting far below the line. Kirk couldn't work out, did not like the way every remark he made felt like he was tearing off one of his own limbs.

His blatant disregard to authority, his authority, frustrated Spock to no end. The ease that Kirk seemed to let the bites roll off of his tongue was infuriating. There was no question of his objective in this course of action, to goad him into an emotional response. He would like to claim that Kirk would fail, that as a Vulcan he had his emotions under control. Yet a anger burned inside of him that he found impossible to distinguish, a desire for retribution that he could not push down. James Kirk throwing his words back at him on fear was something he would not stand for.

"I will not allow you to lecture me." His strained voice betrayed the calm demeanour he was desperately trying to hold on to. Jim's voice was brimmed with challenge.

"Then why don't you stop me?"

The first hit was thrown with barely a conscious thought, Kirk's echoing words ringing in Spock's ears as his fist connected with flesh. Kirk fought back, no hint of surprise at the turn out of events, his punches landing with an ability hat would at any other time be impressive. Around them people gasped but it was barely heard as they fought. With each hit an ache flared in Kirk's chest that had nothing to do with the injury Spock was trying to cause him. Deep in his chest pain raged and he knew beyond a doubt that this was wrong, wrong beyond anything.

Spock saw the falter in Jim's steps, the sudden hesitation in his eyes and took it for what it was. An opening. He flung Jim across the nearest console, the spark of electricity meaning nothing as his hands found their way to Jim's neck. He could feel the bone move beneath his fingers, the frantic movement of muscle as air was desperately tried to be drawn in. It was only the sudden shout of his name, the harsh tone, that shocked him back to his senses, his hands suddenly burning as he realised what he was doing.

A feeling he did not recognise consumed him as he backed off, feeling sick to his stomach at the thought of what he had nearly done. Not only had he nearly killed another Star Fleet officer, he had nearly killed James Kirk, Jim. He did not know why that made the thought even more atrocious to him. Looking down as Kirk coughed, lungs drawing in gulps of air, he was struck by an overwhelming sense of wrongness.

As his eyes locked with Jim, the room faded out around them in a ay completely different to that of the fight. The same confusion laced pain was mirrored across both of their faces, the reason escaping both of them. Both knew without a doubt that what they had just done was wrong, more than that, it had felt unnatural. That the burning pain in their chests was the feeling of something being broken, something that would desperately need to be fixed.

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**Review? Please?**


	2. Erasing The Line

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, all rights reserved to the directors, makers, actors etc etc ..**

**AN1: I have gottten so many reviews asking me to carry this on so i finally gave in and did it :) That my friends is the good news... the bad news, everyone's going to kill me for where i leave it so before i get hunted down, there will be another chapter! I was going to carry this one on but then i thought it would be better to devote a whole chapter to the "good stuff" so you guys get a nice long yummy bit to read :) I will hopefully have that part done in the next few days. **

**AN2: Self beta'd, all mistakes are my own, any suggesstions are so welcome!**

**AN3: Is there anything people like in Kirk/Spock smut scenes? Anything that is like fannon by now that they want included, kinks as such (i dunno, some people like the idea of Spock's ears???) Anyway, suggesstion would be helpful. :)**

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The strain left behind after their fight on the Bridge weighed heavily on Jim and Spock. In the end, Jim had gotten what he wanted, the control of the ship and it's crew, but that had done little to dispel the ache in his chest. It had only seemed to grow the more time went by. A part of him had lit up when Spock returned to the Bridge, when they had worked together to help take now Nero. It was a odd feeling, but highly satisfying to know that they had accomplished something together. It made him feel like they were connected, even if it was for the shortest amount of time. The tension had still been there, but there was something in the way that Spock had looked at him from across the Bridge, the way they had stood together at the end, that had made him feel like maybe things would be okay.

Of course, there was no way for him to tell what was going through Spock's mind that entire time. It would be wishful thinking to hope that it was something similar to him, but that might merely be hope that he wasn't just losing his mind. Somehow they had gotten through that day, somehow they had gotten through the dozens of meetings and talks back at Starfleet. Somehow Jim found himself as the Captain of the Enterprise, fully and not with any tricks.

Every time Jim sat in his chair though, an uneasiness filled his chest. His eyes would travel of their own accord to the console in front of him, the one that he been thrown over. More than once he had to suppress a shudder, less his crew notice his odd behaviour. He had thought that Spock offering his services as his Second in Command would signal a change, that he could put behind those memories. No matter how hard Jim tried he could not shake the feeling it had left, like it was buried beneath his skin. The wrongness he had felt only seemed to grow and grow until Jim could barely even concentrate. The only thing that made it any worse, was thinking that Spock did not feel the same, that the fight had had no effect on him.

Jim could not of been further from the truth if he had tried, though to his credit, Vulcan's were incredibly talented at hiding their emotions. Spock was finding this feat harder and harder by the day. His usual calm was disrupted to the point that he felt like he was almost suffocating under his own thoughts. He could see it in his Captain's face, that he was struggling under everything and it caused Spock more pain than he dared admit to, to know that he was the one to cause it. He had hoped that is offering his services would be a gesture to put their past behind them. The fight, after all, had been beneficial. It had allowed them to stop Nero and had allowed Spock to avenge the death of his mother and planet. Still Spock could not shake the feeling that something was missing.

Even looking at it on a more practical level, Spock had not been able to reach a satisfactory level of meditation that he was required to maintain. His body and mind was slowly starting to feel the strain it was causing. He knew sooner or later his overall productivity would start to suffer. He often found himself watching Jim on their shifts, his eyes subtle straying over to the Captain. It was not hard to tell that Jim's focus was off, that his health was slowly declining. As each day went by he looked more and more tired, more worn down. It was an notion, when Spock realised, that the sight was tearing through him, causing him pain. It took two months before it came time that enough was enough.

KSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKS

Jim sighed as he let himself into his room, running his hand wearily down his face. He was exhausted, mentally and physically. He could not remember the last time he felt fully rested. His quarters were dark as he entered and he padded around slowly, not bothering to turn them on. His room was scarce of items, the chances of him walking into anything was slim. He could not bring himself to care if he did.

"Computer, lights."

Jim jumped in shock at the sound of a sudden voice, the harsh light stinging his eyes as he peered around. Confusion bubbled in him as he spotted his First Officer standing to one side of his room.

"Spock?" He said confused, his brow furrowing as he regarded the man. If it was even possible, the Vulcan look nervous, his eyebrows slightly arched in that way that betrayed his emotions. "What are you doing here?"

Jim had not seen Spock since he had left his shift a couple of hours before Jim, he just assumed the man would return to his own quarters, never giving much thought to any other alternative. Spock stood still, his hands clasped behind his back, his face portraying calm while on the inside his whole body was shaking. He had planned on coming here to confront the Captain, to make amends, ease both of their worries but words suddenly did not seem enough.

The tension on the room as thick, the walls seeming like they had shrunk forwards to crowd them in. Each felt like they needed to say something, something meaningful, something to convey everything that had happened between them. In could have been hours, days even but it became startlingly clear that words were never going to be enough to make things right. Words were never going to be enough to erase the hurt they had caused each other, to mend the gap they had made and yet still didn't understand.

Neither knew they had even moved until they had, meeting half way across the room. Hands desperately grabbed each other, taking hold of the first part they could find. Jim's breath caught in his throat as he realised he had his hands wound into the front of Spock's shirt, Spock's own hands clinging to his forearms. Their bodies were pressed so close together that it was easy to feel the heat rolling off of each body. Jim's breath tickles across Spock's skin, causing shivers to run through him.

"This is illogical." Spock whispered, his voice uncharacteristically quiet and strained.

"Your telling me." Jim replied just as hoarsely. His hands shook the longer he held on, an unexplainable urge telling him draw Spock closer. Some sane part of him knew he should step back and think but his brain was no longer functioning the way it should be.

"This is illogical." Spock said once again, no more than barely a whisper, his mouth a breath away from Jim's. The feeling of "now or never" hung strongly in the air.

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**Please please review and don't hate me, i will give you the "fix" next! :D**


	3. Across The Line

**Disclaimer : I do not own Star Trek nor make any money from this.**

**Warnings: Slash, BoyxBoy**

**AN1: Okay finally i have this finished! Considering this was the first Star Trek story i did i'm kind of dissapointed that it has taken this long to finish! But it finally is so i hope people like it. I have had such writers block lately and have not been able to write anything at all. I had half of this done agggees ago and only just managed to force myself into writing the last bit, which hopfully doesnt suck lol. I'm praying this will help me get back into writing now.**

**AN2: Un'Beta'd so all mistakes are mine, hopefully there aren't too many **

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It was difficult to say who moved first but neither of them would really ever care to know. The only thing that mattered was that they did, mouths meeting in a clash of teeth and hunger, lips pressed forcefully together like any hesitance would mean the other disappeared. Jims hands loosened from Spocks shirt, only to find themselves twining round the back of his neck, pushing his body as close to the man as he could get, never close enough though. The heat he could feel radiating from the mans skin was intoxicating till the point he was simply craving more.

Spock moaned, very un-Vulcan like into the mouth against his, his mind swimming over a hundred logical reasons why he should be backing off, least of all that this man was his senior officer. His mind seemed to break off from his body as he found himself moving, pushing Jim until he was pressed against the nearest wall, Spock's whole body pressing flush against him.

Jim gasped as Spock's mouth attached to his neck, hands all but clawing at the edge of his shirt to get underneath. Jim was reminded briefly of the power and strength the Vulcan had when strangling him but he did not feel fear here. The same hands that had choked precious air from him were drawing sensations from him that he had never felt before. It was all too much and not enough at the same time.

"I'm sorry." Jim gasped, the words punctuated by a moan of appreciation. "I'm so sorry, what I said, I'm sorry." He said in a low mantra, the words mixing with sounds of pleasure as Spocks hands glided against his chest, warmth spreading over his skin. For the most part it looked like Spock had not heard him save for the minute tightening of his hands, the slight increase in fever of his kisses. Jims mind was swamped with need and want but somehow through the haze he knew that he needed to get Spock to hear him, that he couldn't do this, shouldn't do this without making the man understand.

A breathy moan escaped Spocks lip as he pushed himself even closer, hips square against Jims. Jims legs moved without his consent, wrapping themselves tightly around Spocks waist, drawing him in, his head banging back against the wall as sparks of pleasure darted through his body.

"Spock." He gasped, biting his bottom lip as he tried to get his shaking hands to work. Gently pulling Spock's face round he held it between his hands, thumbs caressing the skin as he forced the Vulcan to look at him. The air between them continued to crackle like fire, the urge to just touch, taste, _feel _strong.

"Spock," Jim repeated more softly. "I'm sorry."

Spock shuddered. All through his body and skin, a wave of cold unnatural in his warm body. His eyes darkened and for the first time since he had entered the room Jim felt a spike of fear. There was something primitive about it, something dangerous, he vaguely knew in the back of his head that he wasn't facing his logical first officer right now.

"What you did," Spock growled, hands digging almost painfully into Jims arms as he held him against the wall, "was inexcusable."

"I know." Jim whispered.

"She was my mother and I loved her." Spocks face was mere inches from Jims, eyes hard and both impossible to look and impossible to turn away from. "I loved her." He said darkly, breath ghosting over Jims face as he spoke.

"I know." Jim whispered, voice breaking slightly on the words. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He whispered over and over, resting his forehead against Spocks, eye closed against the accusation of what he had done. Spocks skin tingled, the wave of emotions rushing off of the man consuming, the guilt, the sorrow. He could taste the self hating, smell the regret, feel every prickle of emotion that ran through the man wrapped around him. It was only when he felt the stab of pain, the ripple of something shattered inside the man that he knew just how sorry he was, just how much this was eating him up inside.

"Please forgive me."

"I do."

Jim cried in pleasure as Spock twisted his hips over and over, pushing themselves together in an almost torturous rhythm.

"God, Spock, bed." Jim begged, fingers itching were they clung for any sort of support he could find. It was testament to Spocks Vulcan strength that when he pulled away from the wall Jim came with him easily, legs still encircled around the mans waist as he was deposited on the bed.

Hands moved deftly as clothes were shed, pants all but torn as they were pulled from each others bodies. The predatory gaze in Spocks eyes was enough to make Jim shiver with anticipation.

"See something you like?" He teased, tongue tasting any skin he could reach as Spock ground down on him from above, teeth marking his neck.

"It would be logical if you were to use your mouth for other things than speech." Spock said monotone, only a trace of a tremor in it. Jim gaped and laughed, shocked that Spock could come out with a statement like that. He hummed, using the little strength he had to flip the man under him (who he suspected could of stopped him if he wanted), trailing kisses down the length of Spocks body with a wicked grin.

It still hung in the air, the words both spoken and left unspoken but this, this was something than deeper. A need that neither knew until that moment that needed to be filled. Spocks body hummed as Jims mouth moved over him, tongue trailing his inner thighs and hips, the touch soft and teasing. Spock growled in the back of his throat, the sound turning into a startled gasp as the heat of Jims mouth engulfing him took over all other thought.

Jim mentally grinned, loving the feeling of knowing that he was drawing those sounds from his First Officer. With a last kiss to the top he pulled back, eyes glinting with the smallest amount of uncertainty as he crawled back up Spocks body, kissing first the edge of his jaw and then his mouth. Spock sighed, a sound so alien to his lips at the ministrations, body already tingling with want. He could feel every shudder as they passed through Jim and every fleeing bit of emotion where their skin touched. Almost by instinct his hand reached for Jims, bringing their fingers together awkwardly until Jim seemed to realised what he was doing. His smiling was blindly, like a supernova but impossible to look away from. Spock couldn't help it as the corner of his mouth turned up, a real human smile gracing his face.

Jim laughed, the sound sweet. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile before." He commented with slight awe before dipping his mouth to run his tongue gently over Spocks fingers, relishing in the hitched moan Spock let off. Spock growled, tired of being dominated and used his weight to easily flip their positions. There were a million and one things he could reply, a thousand comments he could himself make about the man but they were left unsaid as he plundered Jims mouth instead, fingers dropping to run teasingly around Jims entrance.

Jim shuddered, arms flailing a little as he almost desperately clawed at the draw by his bed, all but throwing the bottle of lube at Spock. He whined as the touch left before keening as not one but two slicked fingers pressed back into him, stretching him open. Pleasure shot through his spine as Spock teased the spot inside him over and over, whimpering breaking through his lips as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"_Please_." He begged once, trembling with the need to feel Spock inside him, feel him close to him. A feral growl rippled through the room, Spocks mouth biting at Jims shoulder as he positioned himself ready, waiting as he laved at the skin, wanting to draw as many of those inpatient sounds from Jim as he could. Jims hands were soft as he settled them on Spocks back, the touch so sure, so intimate that Spocks eyes darted up to the man, taken back by the look in Jims eyes.

So full of trust, it felt like healing, like something stitching back together inside of his chest. With one sure but gentle push he was seated inside Jim. They moaned in unison, the sudden feeling of being filled and surrounded nearly too much for both of them. The heat was stifling as they moved, pushing together with every thrust, fingernails digging into skin as they clung together. It didn't take long until they could feel the pleasure in them growing, the heat of impending orgasm forcing them faster, but neither cared. Jims head strained back as white filled his vision, whole body clenching and relaxing as his nerves were set on fire. Spock followed not one thrust later, face filled with ecstasy as Jims name gasped from his lips.

It could have been minutes or it could have been hours before they came back down, their limbs entangled as if this was the hundredth not the first time they had done this. With Jims head cradled on Spocks chest, their legs twisted around each other as Spock traced idle patterns up Jims arm, it felt like a beginning. It was still there, everything that had happened between them, the wounds still not completely healed, the memory of everything still there. Jim pressed himself tighter to Spock and Spock could feel the contentment from the man laced with the less insistent but still constant need to feel he was forgiven.

Spock knew since the first instant their mouths head come together that he had forgiven the man, but forgiving wasn't the same as forgetting. It would take time, that much was for certain but it was something that neither man was worried about. At least not now, tangled together, sated and safe in their embrace, the line that much further in the distance.

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**Review pretty please? Let me know if i let this down with the last chap lol**

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